saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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