her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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