Only a mothe r could love this liver
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
