i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
