I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It all started with a game of naked twister.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
