yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
