When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
