Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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