I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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