when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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