There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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