I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
