you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Help. Why am I so naked?
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