a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
