woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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