But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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