your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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