shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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