so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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