I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
