NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
