Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
