we have officially lost it.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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