You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
