Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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