i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
