was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
