Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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