look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
