we have officially lost it.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
