I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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