we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
