We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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