He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize