he wants to bone in the snuggie
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
