she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
