How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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