She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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