My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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