For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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