No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
