Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
