i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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