Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
