Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There r osticjed everywhere
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
