Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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