I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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