he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
