if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
