i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
