She announced her abortion via fbk
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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