He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
