It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
40s are totally the cure
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
