i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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