I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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