did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
