She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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