Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
