i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
