Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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