Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
