I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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