just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
