dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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