you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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