Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Welp...herpes.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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